Sigh. We ALL do it. We ALL don our judgey-mc-judgey-pants from time to time. It is human nature after all and I think we would be hard-pressed to find someone who doesn’t judge other people. Most manage to keep it to themselves, but still many feel the need to air their judgements either to the person or as gossip.
Both suck if you are on the receiving end. And you know what? They suck when you are the one doing it too.
We live in a world where people are determined to bring others down whether conscious of it or not. Why the F do we do this? What good can it possibly bring to our society? Maybe it will encourage people to up their game or make changes, but what a nasty and vindictive way to do it. We should be working at building each other up, helping each other to succeed through encouragement, praise and love.
Last week I was cooking dinner, Bowie was dancing around the room while watching the Wiggles. These days using screen time is the only way I can get a decent, nutritious meal on the table. I always feel really bad about it. There is a lot of research on using screen times for under 2-year-olds and the potentially negative effects it has on neuron connections and development in the brain. But if I didn’t have DVDs and Netflix I would go insane!
Anyway, there was a knock on the door and it was our landlady who lives upstairs. She saw Bowie dancing and she said “look at her, she is amazing. You are a great mother”.
Immediately I said “yes, but she is watching the Wiggles”. My guilt had rushed in ahead of me.
She wasn’t judging me, she was building me up. And it felt really nice. In fact, I almost burst into tears when she left because I felt so humbled by her sincere compliment.
The crazy thing about being judgemental is that it’s actually so much easier to be nice than mean. Actively looking for positives rather than negatives. I really want to encourage you to switch your mindset. Every time a negative thought about someone comes into your head, find something positive instead and banish that negativity.
I had an opportunity this morning to do this. We were at the playground and I noticed a Dad watching his preschooler playing and he had his 2-3 month old baby in a front pack. The baby had leggings on with a big gap of skin showing between the bottoms and his socks, he also didn’t have a hat on and boy was the wind chilly. I immediately felt my heart lurch for this baby, he must be so cold! And then I thought, hang on a minute, his Dad is wearing him, he has him on his chest, close to his heart. What a beautiful thing, what a great Dad.
It is surprisingly easy to think positively once you get into a good habit. Try putting yourself into the other person’s shoes and looking at life from their point of view. We don’t know their past, present or their future. All we can do is be kind to help make the future a bright one. One small compliment can mean the world to someone and may change their entire day for the better.
Have you had someone turn a sour day into a wonderful day with a few kind words? I would love to hear your stories.